How to Heal Yourself After Being Cheated On Using EFT Tapping

If you’re reading this because someone you trusted has cheated on you, I want to start by saying this: you are not at fault.

The pain, confusion, anger, and even the self-doubt you’re feeling right now are completely natural reactions.

Betrayal is a huge emotional blow, and it can take time to process, but none of it reflects your worth or character.

Cheating can happen to anyone, and it’s important to remember that it’s a reflection of the other person’s choices, not yours.

I’ve worked with clients who experienced this kind of betrayal, and the emotional weight can feel almost unbearable.

One client had witnessed the cheating firsthand, and he came to me feeling stuck, anxious, and unable to move forward.

After just two EFT sessions, he told me, “I feel more settled. I can finally breathe and move on.” Moments like these show just how powerful emotional healing can be when done intentionally.

Healing from betrayal doesn’t happen overnight. The shock and hurt can linger, and it’s normal to have waves of sadness, anger, or confusion even weeks or months later.

EFT tapping provides a practical way to process these feelings, release the trapped emotions, and gradually reclaim your sense of balance and inner peace.

Understanding EFT Tapping for Betrayal

EFT tapping works on your body’s energy system. When something traumatic happens, like betrayal or cheating, the emotional energy gets “stuck” in your system.

This can manifest as anxiety, racing thoughts, sleepless nights, low self-esteem, or even physical symptoms like a tight chest or stomach discomfort.

EFT tapping helps release that stuck energy, allowing you to process the emotions safely and fully.

Unlike simply talking or trying to distract yourself, tapping allows your body to release the tension associated with betrayal. It’s like giving your nervous system permission to let go of the weight it’s been carrying.

Follow these steps and use EFT Tapping to feel relief from all the emotional baggage.

Step 1: Recognize and Name Your Emotions

The first step in healing is acknowledging what you feel. Many people try to suppress emotions after betrayal, anger, sadness, fear, guilt, shame, but hiding them only prolongs the pain.

EFT works best when you honestly identify and name your emotions.

Ask yourself: “What am I feeling right now?” You may feel a mix of anger, hurt, sadness, or even self-blame. Write these down. Seeing the emotions in black and white helps you gain clarity and gives you a target for tapping.

Why this matters: If you don’t identify your emotions clearly, tapping can become unfocused, and the energy remains stuck. Naming your emotions gives your mind and body a clear signal about what needs to be released.

Step 2: Rate the Intensity

Once you know what you’re feeling, rate each emotion on a scale from 0–10, where 10 is the most intense. This is important because it lets you measure progress.

You’ll know if your tapping is effective and when you can move on to another emotion or event.

Why this matters: Tracking intensity ensures that you’re not skipping unresolved emotions. A betrayal can leave multiple layers of emotional charge, and rating them helps you tackle each layer systematically.

Step 3: Tap on Each Emotion

Start tapping on the EFT points: side of the hand (karate chop), top of the head, eyebrows, side of the eyes, under the eyes, under the nose, chin, collarbone, and under the arms.

While tapping, voice your feelings aloud, for example:

“Even though I feel angry that they betrayed me, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

Why this matters: Tapping while voicing your emotions releases the trapped energy in your body and nervous system.

Acknowledging the emotion ensures you’re not suppressing it, suppression only delays healing.

This step creates both physical and emotional relief, which can be immediate even if the situation happened weeks or months ago.

Step 4: Address Past Events

Betrayal often triggers old wounds. For example, past experiences of feeling unsupported, unloved, or powerless can make current betrayal feel even heavier.

EFT helps you trace your present emotional response back to its roots.

Ask yourself: “Has something similar happened before?” Each past event is treated separately:

1. Name the event.
2. Identify the dominant emotion it creates.
3. Rate it from 0–10.
4. Tap until the intensity drops to around 0–2.

Why this matters: Addressing past events is crucial because unresolved trauma amplifies current emotional reactions.

By clearing old events, you reduce overreactions, regain emotional balance, and prevent your body from reliving the betrayal repeatedly.

Step 5: Use Surrogate Tapping if Needed

Sometimes, the emotions are too overwhelming to tap on yourself, especially if you suddenly cry or feel paralyzed by pain. Surrogate tapping allows someone else to tap while holding your emotional pain in mind.

I often use surrogate tapping for clients in these moments. It helps calm the nervous system and ensures the energy is released safely when self-tapping becomes difficult.

Why this matters: When emotions are intense, your body may resist releasing them directly. Surrogate tapping allows healing to happen even when you feel stuck, providing immediate relief and emotional safety.

Step 6: Repeat and Be Patient

Healing from betrayal is rarely instant. Emotions may resurface, triggered by memories, social media, or conversations. EFT allows you to revisit these emotions safely and continue releasing them.

Expect this process to take some time. Depending on how intense your feelings are, you may need multiple rounds of tapping.

Set aside at least an hour for your session, so you are not rushed. Always rate the intensity before and after tapping and take breaks between different emotions or past events.

Why this matters: Consistency and patience are key. Repeatedly addressing the emotions ensures lasting relief instead of temporary suppression. Healing is gradual, and each round of tapping reduces emotional charge, making it easier to regain peace.

Step 7: Practice Self-Compassion

Finally, be kind to yourself. It’s easy to blame yourself or wonder if you missed warning signs. EFT is most effective when paired with self-compassion. Acknowledge your bravery for facing the pain and honor that you are actively working to heal.

Why this matters: Self-compassion reinforces emotional safety, strengthens your self-worth, and prevents further self-blame, which often occurs after betrayal.

Why EFT Tapping Works for Cheating?

Cheating leaves emotional blocks that can manifest physically and mentally. EFT helps you:

• Release anger, sadness, guilt, and fear safely.
• Address the root causes of emotional intensity.
• Calm your nervous system and reduce anxiety.
• Process overwhelming emotions when talking alone isn’t enough.
• Regain control of your emotional state and sense of self.

Unlike other methods, EFT doesn’t suppress pain, it helps you experience, release, and move forward.

Final Thoughts

Cheating is painful, but healing is possible. The emotions you feel are valid, and EFT tapping provides a structured, compassionate way to release them.

Remember, betrayal reflects the other person’s choices, not your worth. With consistent practice, patience, and self-compassion, you can reclaim peace, feel lighter, and open your heart to life again.

If you need guidance, I offer one-on-one EFT sessions where we work through the emotions together. Many clients feel calmer and more settled in just a few sessions. You don’t have to navigate this alone.

Disclaimer: The content on this page is for educational and informational purposes only. EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is not a substitute for medical, psychological, or psychiatric treatment. Please consult a licensed professional for any medical or mental health concerns.