How I Used EFT Tapping to Improve Self Love
Self-love is something we all hear about, love yourself, be kind to yourself, embrace who you are. It sounds so simple, but when you’ve carried years of guilt, blame, or a deep sense of powerlessness, self-love feels like an impossible dream.
For the longest time, I struggled with this myself. My inner voice was harsh, quick to criticize, and often filled with regret over the past.
The truth is, self-love decreases when you blame yourself for things that went wrong, when guilt weighs heavily on your shoulders, when you hate yourself for feeling powerless in situations you couldn’t control, and when people in your life have made you feel you don’t deserve love at all.
That last one cuts especially deep. Words, actions, or even neglect from others can leave scars that make it almost impossible to see your own worth.
For me, all of these were present to some degree, but what really held me back was the feeling of powerlessness.
It wasn’t until I started working with EFT Tapping that things began to shift. Slowly but surely, I found a way to dismantle the layers of self-hate and replace them with compassion.
Facing My Own Lack of Self-Love
When I first realized how little love I had for myself, it was a painful truth to sit with. On the outside, I could put on a smile and function like everyone else, but on the inside, my thoughts were harsh and unforgiving.
I kept replaying old memories, asking myself why I hadn’t spoken up, why I hadn’t defended myself, why I had allowed certain things to happen.
And then there were the memories of times when other people’s words or actions made me feel undeserving of love. Those moments left a mark, reinforcing the idea that maybe I wasn’t worthy of care or kindness, even from myself.
The word that best described what I felt was powerless. And instead of being gentle with myself, I turned that powerlessness into self-hate. I blamed myself for not doing better, for not being stronger, and for not knowing what I know now.
It’s exhausting to live with that kind of inner dialogue. It chips away at your confidence, your joy, and your ability to truly care for yourself.
How EFT Tapping Helped Me Heal
The first step in my healing process was to identify specific events that had left me with those feelings of blame and powerlessness.
These memories weren’t hard to find, they were the ones that kept replaying in my mind over and over, the ones that made my chest tighten or my stomach sink whenever I thought about them.
Using EFT Tapping, I worked through each event one at a time. I didn’t rush; I gave myself space, and when it felt heavy, I took breaks.
At the start of each tapping session, I would rate the intensity of my emotions on a scale of 0–10. Most of the memories began at a 9 or 10 because they carried so much emotional weight.
As I tapped through the rounds, acknowledging the feelings, giving them a voice, and allowing myself to release them, I could feel the emotional charge slowly decreasing.
What once felt like an unbearable 10 could shift down to a 5, then a 3, and finally to a 2.
When an event that had haunted me for years came down to just a 2, it was a huge shift.
At that level, I could remember it without my body tightening up, without my heart racing, and without that flood of shame or anger. It became just a memory, not a wound.
The Breakthrough in Self-Love
The more events I worked through, the lighter I began to feel. What surprised me most was how natural self-love began to flow once the weight of guilt, blame, and undeservingness lifted.
I didn’t have to force myself to “love who I am” in front of the mirror or repeat affirmations I didn’t believe. Instead, my relationship with myself softened on its own.
I began to notice small changes, speaking to myself more kindly, forgiving myself for mistakes, and letting go of that deep resentment for being powerless.
I also stopped giving so much power to the voices of others who once made me feel I didn’t deserve love. I realized their treatment of me said more about them than it did about my worth.
That realization was liberating.
Why EFT Works So Well for Self-Love
What makes EFT so powerful in healing self-love issues is that it doesn’t try to cover up pain with positive thinking. Instead, it lets you go directly to the root cause, the painful memories, the moments of guilt, the times you felt undeserving of love, and gently unravel them.
By giving yourself permission to feel those emotions and then release them, you create space for something better to take its place.
For me, that “something better” was self-love. Not the Instagram-quote kind of self-love, but the genuine kind where I could finally feel at peace with myself.
Final Thoughts
Today, I can honestly say I have a much healthier relationship with myself. It’s not about being perfect or never feeling down again, it’s about being kinder to myself, forgiving my past, and recognizing my own worth.
EFT Tapping was the tool that made this possible. It gave me a structured way to face the parts of myself I used to avoid and helped me transform the guilt, self-blame, and sense of undeservingness that had kept me stuck for years.
If you’ve been struggling with self-love, I want you to know this: it is possible to heal. You don’t have to carry guilt, blame, or the burden of other people’s hurtful words forever.
With EFT, you can begin to release those emotions and open yourself up to a kinder, more compassionate relationship with yourself.
And if you feel like you need guidance reaching this stage, I do offer one-on-one EFT sessions. You can book a session with me, and I’ll help you work through your own experiences in a safe, structured way. Just reach out to know the availability of my time slots. I’d love to support you on your journey.
Disclaimer: The content on this page is for educational and informational purposes only. EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is not a substitute for medical, psychological, or psychiatric treatment. Please consult a licensed professional for any medical or mental health concerns.
