How to Use EFT tapping for Loss and Grief

Loss is one of the most emotionally triggering experiences we face. EFT tapping for loss is one the best things to do so you cope better. Whether it’s the death of a loved one or another form of deep separation, grief can shake the core of our being. It’s not just painful — it’s overwhelming, confusing, and deeply personal.

Many people seek healing from this pain, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), or tapping, has been a powerful tool in my journey and in the journeys of some of my clients.

Disclaimer: The content on this page is for educational and informational purposes only. EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is not a substitute for medical, psychological, or psychiatric treatment. Please consult a licensed professional for any medical or mental health concerns.

While EFT tapping itself is simple in practice, grief is anything but simple. Its emotional intensity varies based on timing, personality, and our life experiences.

Loss in Childhood vs. Adulthood

If you’re a child dealing with loss, say, the death of a pet or loved one, and you’re raised by emotionally supportive parents, you’re more likely to develop healthy coping skills early on. But if you grew up with emotionally unavailable caregivers, unresolved grief can carry over into adulthood, where it becomes more difficult to manage.

As an adult, grief can feel unbearable and if your foundation wasn’t strong to begin with, even more so. The good news is: EFT tapping can still help, no matter when the grief began.

But knowing this can help you understand how deep your grief traumma is and estimate how long it can take for you to overcome it.

This geuinely helps me and my clients to set the right expectations, not every person is going to be a one session miracle. Some and most of us need a lot more than one sessions to overcome our traumas. I did sessions on myself every day for six years straight, so yes, EFT is all about experience and practice.

EFT Scripts vs. Raw, Honest Expression

I want to be honest, using pre-written tapping scripts for grief often doesn’t help as much as people claim. When the emotion is as huge and raw as loss, a generic script might only do so much.

If just thinking about the person you lost brings you to tears, that means the emotion is overcharged. This is where EFT really shines. You can start by tapping gently and honestly expressing what you’re feeling in your own words. The sayiing here can be a general expression of how you feel without going into too many details of the emotions.

For example, you might tap while saying:

“Even though I’ve lost this person and I don’t know what to do without them, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”

This kind of tapping helps release the emotional overcharge, so you’re not stuck crying uncontrollably every time you remember the person. It brings a sense of calm that makes space for deeper healing.

Once you think you have stabalised and removed the emotional overcharge it is time to go deeper.

Moving from Overcharge to Clarity

Once the intense emotional wave settles, the next step is to explore the feelings that are showing up. But always be careful and go slow. You do not want to overwhelm yourself at this stage, so start with one emotion at a time and tap your way to healing.

So ask yourself, how does this loss make you feel, and whatever emotions come up, like in my case, it was loneliness and just a sense of loss that I would never get to meet this person ever again

You could say:

“Even though I feel extremely lonely and abandoned without them, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”

Each round of tapping helps process a new layer. Keep tapping and changing the words based on what you truly feel in that moment. You’ll know you’re making progress when:

• You start feeling calmer or lighter
• You feel physically tired (a sign your body has processed a lot)
• You experience a sense of peace or release, which causes excessive yawning.

Grieving with an already existing Separation Conflict

Now, for some people, especially those with separation trauma or conflict, loss feels like the end of the world because not only you have a new loss trauma, you have an old separation conflict retriggered.

This can overwhelm some people.

If that’s you, go slow.

Start with very gentle, general tapping with phrases like:

“Even though I’ve lost this person and I feel like I’ll never be the same, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

After a round or two, pause. Then, grab a notebook and write down everything the loss is bringing up emotions, memories, thoughts.

Tapping on these one by one can be a game-changer. You don’t have to rush, though. Always take it slow and listen to your body when you feel you are done.

Take breaks. It’s okay if the healing takes weeks or months.

Also, be aware: sometimes tapping on one major loss will bring up older, unresolved grief, from childhood, past breakups, even forgotten moments. That’s okay. It’s part of the process.

Tapping helps you work through each of these with compassion and patience.

To sum up…

Everything I’ve shared here is based on my experience both with myself and clients. I’ve seen consistent progress when this method is used sincerely and safely.

• If you want to do this alone – that’s valid. Bookmark this and return to it when you need support. I always recommend working in groups as surrogate EFT is extremely beneficial.
• If you want guidance – feel free to book a session with an EFT practitioner.
• If you want to learn more about EFT – the official website has courses, videos, and resources you can explore at your own pace.

You’re not broken for grieving. You’re human.

And healing is absolutely possible, one tap, one breath, one day at a time.