How to Heal Yourself in a Toxic Relationship Using EFT Tapping

Toxic relationships can leave lasting emotional scars, even after you’ve physically removed yourself from the situation.

Being in a relationship with someone who constantly gaslights, manipulates, or disrespects you can make you question your reality, your worth, and your ability to trust again.

Healing after such a relationship isn’t just about walking away, it’s about rebuilding yourself, understanding your emotions, and releasing the patterns that allowed the toxicity in the first place.

I recently worked on a situation which involved a toxic relationship.

The partner was frequently gaslighted, made to doubt her feelings, and this created a cycle of emotional instability. Leaving the toxic person was the first step, and that, in itself, is courageous but the real work began when you want to truly heal and recognize that none of this was not the victim’s fault.

Understanding the Root of the Pattern

One of the most important things I discovered during my sessions was that toxic patterns in adult relationships often have roots in childhood.

In this case, there were similar patterns with a parent who displayed controlling and manipulative behaviors.

These early experiences had unconsciously teaches us to accept certain behaviors as “normal” and can make someone more susceptible to similar dynamics later in life.

It’s important to remember that toxic relationships aren’t limited to romantic partnerships. They can also occur with parents, siblings, or friends.

I’ve worked with clients facing toxic dynamics in almost every kind of relationship. Some of the issues I’ve seen mirror my own experiences, and together, we’ve been able to clear the trauma and anguish these situations caused.

Why this matters: Without addressing these early emotional wounds, it’s easy to carry the same relationship patterns forward.

EFT tapping allows you to identify and release the emotional charge from these past events, which in turn changes your perception and response to toxic behaviors in the present.

Step 1: Acknowledge Your Emotions

The first step in EFT is acknowledging what you feel without judgment. After leaving a toxic relationship, feelings like anger, betrayal, sadness, fear, and guilt often coexist.

Our client took the time to sit with each emotion, say it aloud, and rate it from 0–10 based on intensity.

Why this matters: Rating emotions helps you track your progress. It gives the mind and body a target for tapping, ensuring you release the right energy and don’t leave unresolved feelings lingering.

Step 2: Tap on Present Emotions

Once I identified each emotion, we began tapping on the EFT points while expressing the feelings aloud. For example:

“Even though I feel angry and betrayed by him, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

Why this matters: Tapping while acknowledging the emotion helps to release stuck energy in the nervous system. It creates a sense of emotional relief and clarity, even when the situation is painful or feels overwhelming.

Step 3: Work on Childhood Events

After addressing present emotions, we explored childhood memories that were connected to these feelings.

I identified moments where she felt powerless, unseen, or manipulated, similar dynamics to what she experienced with the toxic partner.

Each event was numbered, the dominant emotion was rated, and tapping was done until the intensity dropped to around 0–2.

Why this matters: By clearing these old events, I reprogrammed the emotional responses. What previously would trigger anxiety, fear, or self-blame now triggered little to no emotional charge.

This step is crucial because unresolved childhood trauma often perpetuates toxic patterns in adult relationships.

Step 4: Consistency and Patience

Healing from deep-rooted patterns doesn’t happen overnight. I had to commit to one session per week for 6–8 months.

Each week, I addressed different events both past and present, and gradually the emotional resilience grew. I learned to spot patterns, release emotional triggers, and rebuild my sense of self-worth.

Why this matters: EFT is most effective when used consistently. Each session layers the emotional release, and over time, the nervous system learns a new, healthier way to respond to similar situations.

Step 5: Rebuilding Relationships

As I healed, I noticed a profound change in my interactions with others. I was able to recognize red flags early, stay away from manipulative individuals, and form healthier, supportive relationships.

Healing past trauma allowed her to engage in new connections with confidence, clarity, and emotional safety.

Why this matters: EFT doesn’t just help you process pain, it empowers you to create boundaries, attract healthier relationships, and make choices aligned with your well-being.

Step 6: Recognizing Your Own Growth

Watching this transformation was inspiring. From being someone constantly affected by manipulation and self-doubt, I became strong, emotionally independent, and self-aware.

The growth showed that while leaving a toxic relationship is the first step, healing from within is what ensures lasting freedom.

Final Thoughts

Toxic relationships leave layers of emotional charge, often rooted in past trauma.

EFT tapping allows you to systematically release these layers, regain your emotional balance, and break recurring patterns. Consistent practice, patience, and self-compassion are key.

If you’re in the process of healing from a toxic relationship, whether it’s with a partner, parent, sibling, or friend, remember: it’s not your fault.

With the right guidance, dedication, and tools like EFT tapping, you can rebuild your confidence, form healthy relationships, and reclaim your peace.

I offer one-on-one EFT sessions to guide individuals through this healing process. Together, we address both present and past events, ensuring that emotional blocks are released safely and effectively.

If you feel ready to take that step, reach out and we can work through it together—one session at a time.

Disclaimer: The content on this page is for educational and informational purposes only. EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is not a substitute for medical, psychological, or psychiatric treatment. Please consult a licensed professional for any medical or mental health concerns.